Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Identity Crisis aka Early Mid-Life

I am home nursing a cold and am utterly bored.  Because of this A(H1N1) flu scare, people don't take anything at face value.  Just so I don't spread my virus, I decided to stay home as a precautionary measure.  I don't know how to relax, however.

Being home alone led me to pause and to think.  Nothing earth-shaking or major.  It's just that it's becoming increasingly evident to me that I have a wrong self-image.

You see, I took this Facebook quiz (how reliable is that?!  Stay with me for a bit here), and the result is that I'm not spoiled at all.  My friends expressed their objections.  To them, I am a spoiled brat.  But I answered the quiz truthfully.  Either I am good at projecting an illusion, or I am in denial.  Needless to say, the result got me thinking:  why do my friends disagree with me?  I don't care what the world says, but my friends are supposed to know me.  

Maybe I am more spoiled and pampered than I believe.

Another case in point.  A very close friend of about six years told me today that I have a very serious personality.  I said he must have been misled, because I have always been witty, and I don't need alcohol to speak with poetry.  Could he just have been teasing me, or did I hide my insane crazy creative side so well from him?  Others would disagree.  I have always been silly.  I have a Category of Silly Posts on this blog.  Ask my classmates.  I'm not a serious person.

Or am I?  

I saw parts of a forgettable film (Michael) on HBO, and the smoking archangel told his human companions, "Relax.  It's the only way to find love."

Am I too relaxed - spoiled, or too serious - boring?

Does it matter what they think, or do I need to be myself more?

Hopefully the changes I will go through next month will help me relax more and be myself more.  

This self-centered blog is brought to you by my cough syrup.  Now back to get some sleep.

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