Still Amazing, Despite a Long Break From Blogging

What is my excuse for disappearing on you?  I had been feeling less than wonderful these past few days.  

I got sick with the flu, which almost always succeeds in slowing me down and putting life on hold.  I could not do what I usually did - that of making the mundane seem interesting, and of chronicling the simple events of life with eyes of awe and wonder.  Sometime after my last post, the river was just a river, so to speak.  I felt like I had nothing amazing to share.

So the book review on "The Secret Life of Bees" has been shelved. I have also backed out of some other projects offline.  Health and work had to take priority, aside from my other duties.  

But it had not been a month of boredom and monotony.  I had some serious fun as 

well!

Check out the photos.

I relived the beauty of Manila when I toured it with my family,

I watched fireworks last Chinese New Year at the Mall of Asia with my entire family,

I goofed around in our living room for a photo shoot,

I posed for our first proper family portrait, 

and

 

I attended birthday parties of friends.

All in all, still an amazing life.  And it goes on. 

I cut my hair.  I got sick.  I got well.  I went back to work.  I attended a prayer meeting.  I had coffee with great people.   And Valentine's Day came.

I will look at my blessings and be grateful for this amazing life.

Sweet Dreams Are Made of These

We've all read that forwarded message stating that we shouldn't postpone happiness, that we shouldn't wait until we've paid off our debts, won the battle against cancer, solved our family problems, reached 200% of our company targets, achieved a Pulitzer or Nobel prize, found our suitable partner, raised brilliant kids, or reached the Oscar Hall of Fame until we decide to be happy.

We can choose to be happy now, and when we do, we can recognize just how much we are blessed. I have been overwhelmed with the gift of friendship that God has given me. I do not deserve to have such wonderful people praying for me, taking care of me, listening to me, laughing with me, counting on me, sharing with me, rooting for me, and giving to me. It is not all about me, but about how God has placed the right combination of people so that I won't be led astray.

I am very happy now, and I hold on to the feeling with delightful bliss, for as a recovering perfectionist happy moments are few and far between (yes, despite the blessings).

The reasons for my happiness are endless.

My father celebrated his 73rd birthday last Saturday and despite the health scare last week, he is doing okay now and is even back to his usual daily routine. I am looking forward to a vacation with my family this coming January, when all of my siblings and siblings-in-law form abroad will be here in the Philippines. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, and I enjoy the planning and scheduling that is involved in anticipation of our family reunion.

I seem to be doing better in my job. After a year in my position, I am not as daunted by my responsibilities anymore, and I have learned to just give my best and let God do the rest. The formula, as always, has worked, for last month we reached our sales targets, with several team members performing way beyond expectation. Planning season is upon us and I savor it as a time to apply what I have learned the past year and to implement my plans for our products and our department.

And have I mentioned that I really do have wonderful friends? From grade school, high school, college, law school, Lingkod, parish, and office, I am surrounded by friends. This should not be, and it is not out of my sheer charm that this happened. God knows that I am a people person and I delight in organizing get-togethers and spending quality time with people I treasure.

Last night was one such happy event. To celebrate the birthday of our dear friend Fr Steve Tynan, Lingkod brothers and sisters who have come to know him through the years gathered at Dencio's for about five hours of fellowship. More get-togethers were planned, and friendships were strengthened. The conversation was life-giving to everyone. I had a personal relationship with everyone who was there and I was very glad to be sitting there, watching the people, joining the conversation, sharing the food, passing on the love.

Dencio's Capitol Hills was the perfect venue. We had a good view of the Marikina Valley, and we did not have to drive out of the city to do that. We enjoyed the sisig, the beer, the turon, and everything in between. We loved their coffee. It was surprisingly good. We definitely want to go back to that place.


It is nights like these that I celebrate, to help me survive the daily challenges of life. I am very grateful to God for all these blessings, and in response, I want to share His love to everyone around me. For His love is just abundant that I cannot contain it. I have to give it away.

Now Playing: Remembering You

The video and the song played during Fr. Geoffrey's Youth Alive despedida, October 18, 2008.  Read about him here.

Remembering You
Steven Curtis Chapman
The Chronicles of Narnia Soundtrack

I found You in the most unlikely way
But really it was You who found me
And I found myself in the gifts that You gave
You gave me so much and I

I wish You could stay
but I'll, I'll wait for the day

Chorus
And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring
And I'll be remembering You
Oh and I'll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing 
and I'll be remembering You, I'll be remembering You 

From the first moment when I heard Your name
Something in my heart came alive
You showed me love and no words could explain
A love with the power to
Open the door
To a world I was made for

Chorus
And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring
And I'll be remembering You
Oh and I'll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing 
and I'll be remembering You, I'll be remembering You 

The dark night, the hard fight
The long climb up the hill knowing the cost 
The brave death, the last breath
The silence whispering all hope was lost
The thunder, the wonder
A power that brings the dead back to life

I wish You could stay
But I'll wait for the day
And though You've gone away
You come back and

Chorus
And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring
And I'll be remembering You
Oh and I'll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing 
and I'll be remembering You, I'll be remembering You 

And I'll watch as the sun fills a sky that was dark
And I'll be remembering You
And I'll think of the way that You fill up my heart
And I'll be remembering You

I'll be remembering You
I'll be remembering You
I'll be remembering You

I'll be remembering You

For Fr. Geoffrey

There's an e-mail that's circulating that begins with the sentence, "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime."

It continues to state that when someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. When that need is fulfilled, they leave your life. Their purpose is extinguished.

People come into your life for a SEASON because your turn has come to share, grow or learn from them, or from each other. You will enjoy their company, but only temporarily, for a fixed period of time.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. I reckon this refers to friendships that stand the test of time. I have been blessed to have these kinds of friendships, and today I want to write about one very special person who has helped me to grow spiritually, emotionally, and even physically (by encouraging me to go the gym regularly in order to release stress and feel better about myself).

We often do not honor the people in our lives enough. Or at least we do it after they've gone. I'd like to honor someone who to me is a friend for a reason, a season, and a lifetime. He's leaving the Philippines by the end of this month after a six-year missionary duty. He's going back home to Australia. Even though we'll keep in touch, I know that it won't be the same. I have to thank him now. I have to recognize how good he has been to me now.

I met him four years ago, in October 2004, at the Lingkod National Leaders' Training Conference in Iloilo. I was told by my confessor, Fr. Steve, that their order of religious priests was tasked by the bishop to take care of our sub-parish (how blessed I felt, how specifically loved by God, for it was an answered prayer to find a home in my own parish). He brought along with him to Iloilo a priest who was to become our assistant parish priest. I was shy to approach him, for he was six feet tall, and spoke English with an intimidating (to a Filipino) Australian accent, but I needed someone to talk to, for Fr. Steve left that conference early, and that week I heard the Lord inviting me to give up my career as a lawyer to become a full-time missionary. I needed someone who could understand and give me wise advice.

I looked for him, introduced myself, and thus was prayed over for the first time by Fr. Geoffrey Coombe, mgl. It was a day of retreat but I could not sit in silence. I needed to speak out, to ask and express how I could be called to serve God in that capacity, when all I could see were the obstacles before me.

Thus began four years of pastoral care under him. Fr. Geoff guided me through a six-month period of discernment, through five-minute chats after the 6 p.m. mass, which I could attend regularly then as I worked a few minutes away from home. He checked up on me, prayed over me, shared his experiences with me, and discerned with me. I knew he was God's gift, for I really felt God's love through him. I looked forward to sharing my reflections and realizations with him, for he directed me gently but firmly towards focusing on the Lord and not on myself.

While I was a Lingkod staffer and was having difficulty reconciling that with being a lawyer, Fr. Geoffrey continued to be my spiritual director. I sought him out to sort me out, for it was good to have someone outside of my ministry who was objective enough to point out what I was being blind to. He taught me to discover my gifts and to share them at the appropriate time. He taught me to deal with the burnout I felt after giving to the point of exhaustion. He showed me how I could serve without losing myself.

Fr. Geoffrey also encouraged me to serve at the parish. He invited me to give my first Life in the Spirit Seminar talk in Tagalog, gave me a pamphlet about being a Lector at mass and then gave me a regular assignment, and sat down with me to discuss his dreams for the youth of our parish. This was before Bro. Daniel Strickland and Fr. Brian Steele came to take care of the Youth Ministry for our new parish.

Being an architect and an artist, Fr. Geoff had a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw from, and that was exactly what I needed to discern my career. In deciding to leave Lingkod, he prayed with me. In looking for my next job, he prayed for me. He gave me books to read and asked me to submit reflections, just like a patient teacher to a wayward student.

He is a quiet man with a deep prayer life, and it is a blessing to be one of his directees. Yesterday, the first of October, about four weeks before his flight back to Canberra, I told him I felt like I graduated from a course from the Fr. Geoffrey Coombe School of Pastoral Care. I wanted to make him proud of me but I was nowhere near sainthood and still unsure about many things.

He told me that what was important was that I grew to be more honest in my relationship with God, and that I knew how to love even if it was painful and complicated. He felt his time here, in my life, was up too, and he was happy to endorse me to my new spiritual directress, a Cenacle sister. He believed in planting seeds and leaving them to grow.

I will miss having Fr. Geoffrey a text away to pray over my concerns, from the mundane to the melodramatic. I will miss seeking his advice and hearing his voice that did not ever judge me, no matter how disobedient I had been to God. I will miss his creative homilies. I will miss his Powerpoint presentations that illustrated deep Catholic teachings in a way that young people and young souls would understand.

He is moving to a new ministry and is very excited about it. He is excited at how God's plans would unfold for me, he said. I sit here today wondering what my next step would be, but grateful, very grateful, that for the past four years I have had someone to guide me, listen to me, and pray with me. I will continue to consult, or maybe inform, him over major decisions of my life. But even if this friendship is for a lifetime, I recognize the reason he was here, and the season we shared, as one of God's greatest blessings.

I dedicate one month of saying goodbye to him, made up of despedidas from all the groups that would organize it for him, highlighted by my family's first piano recital, with him and a few friends as audience.

Fr. Geoffrey, thank you for being a part of my life, in the context of the Parish of St. Benedict, Ang Lingkod ng Panginoon, Youth Alive, the Disciples of Jesus, and the Posh. I will never forget everything that you taught me. God bless you on your new ministry. And... see you in Canberra! :-)

The S Word

A term that describes my state today is "unglued".  This, despite several therapeutic lunches and dinners with my friends for the past week.

 

Last night, I tried practicing some piano pieces for Fr. Geoffrey's Recital but stopped after repeating the same mistakes for almost twenty times.  My piano teacher, Mama, agreed that it was probably just an off night.  "Artists and athletes have those", I explained to her.

This morning, I cried all throughout the Charismatic mass.  I was not a member of the Catholic community that sponsored it so I felt nobody would remember me sniffling all throughout, from Opening to Closing song.  God could hear me, I could sense His presence, but I just stared back at Him.  What could I say that had not already been said about my situation?  

After mass, I was at my usual post as money counter after the mass, but I felt like I was the world's worst counter.  I mean, I love the Pondo ng Pinoy project of our diocese, but the sight of all those twenty-five centavo coins made me dizzy and Fr. Steve had to repeat counting some of the rows I neatly piled.  

Then I drove for my parents and nephews to Serendra this afternoon.  I committed several driving booboos and after a third driver honked at me for straddling two lanes out of indecision, I said out loud, "Yes, I know I'm being stupid."

Luigi, my 11-year old nephew, looked at me and said, "No, Tita Ella, you're not stupid."

And just like that, I wanted to hug him, my saint of a nephew, who once said that "I think everybody should love everybody". But if everybody loved everyone else, this would be Heaven already.  That's why there are people we cannot love and people who cannot love us yet.  We are still on Earth.

Luigi doesn't read this blog so I can very well say the S word here.  That's another apt term to describe me nowadays:  Mighty Stupid. Yes I'm being hard on myself. You'd think by now I've learned. I played a game I couldn't win. I don't even like games, so what was I doing in the first place?

I'll just sing.  This ought to summarize what it's been like.

Out of Reach

Gabrielle

From the Bridget Jones's Diary OST


Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me

Blessings in the Time of Oil Speculation

Unexpected blessings poured out this week.  I was able to spend time with different sets of friends, and I did not have to throw a party to gather all of them.  I could not invite all my friends because times are hard, but what a blessing because there were other reasons to get together, and they all happened during my birthday week so I took it as a gift from a loving God.

Last week, I had a fantastic lunch and coffee with one of the smartest people I know, followed by dinner with some good friends who were well-versed in civil and canon law.  On my actual birthday, I had breakfast with my parents at Jollibee after mass - with their Senior Citizen's card, our bill was the sweetest ever.  I saw some of the WYD delegates and was blessed by their experiences.  My grade school barkada Secrets treated me to dinner at Mary Grace in Serendra, and I brought home a birthday cake.

A couple of good friends gifted me with a dream come true - a red Moleskine 18-month planner with notepad (ok so they asked me what I wanted), and we had Starbucks on a stormy night.  Over at the office, we had a thanksgiving party for last month's performance and had a joint celebration for all the July birthday girls.  People had a really, really, really good time and everyone said it did not feel like an "office party" at all.  I had to drive home so I had to watch what I drank.  Yeah, too bad!

Yesterday was one for the books, my books, for it started with an afternoon party at Manila Ocean Park's Fuzion restaurant for Baby Juan's first birthday bash, and I was with my grade school friends.  Then I went to Chocolate Kiss cafe in Roces Ave. to send off the woman who invited me to Lingkod, Alett Nunez, who is leaving to study abroad on a generous scholarship.  Because of Alett, brothers and sisters I had not seen in a long time had wonderful dinner together and shared stories of our colorful life as the early Lingkod QC members and servants.  With the exception of a few people who had previous engagements, gathered that night were my closest friends in Lingkod.  To cap the night, I had to follow at a small gathering with my friends from the parish, where we drank wine and ate Santi's ham, while watching concerts on DVD.  

I got home late but had to wake up early to serve at mass, where I felt so much gratitude, peace, and joy (see my other blog for my post about Today's Readings).  Then I had buffet lunch at Italianni's with my family.  It was a wonderful birthday week and I could not ask for more.  God knows me.  God loves me.  God owns me!  And I think I could say that today, I'm happy.

P.S.  Cuz, this is one happy post, and I remembered your greeting as I typed tonight.  Hope you visit this blog and get to read this, too.

A Stepford Wife I'm Not

Ironing or pressing clothes is not my favorite chore.  I have been known to walk the streets of Metro Manila wearing wrinkled clothing. Today, however, was a little bit different.  

Our neighborhood was awakened to the sound of xylophones and snare drums.  I was up and dressed early to attend the 8 a.m. mass with my parents.  It was, after all, the Second Fiesta Celebration of the Parish of St. Benedict.  The organizers wanted a town fiesta feel, and Fr. Steve gave in.  He did preach about one important teaching of St. Benedict - and that is to put order in our lives by knowing our priorities and balancing our schedules.  

I stayed after the mass to watch the band perform modern songs and mingled with my neighbors.  There were banderitas everywhere, food was sold on little stalls, and the candidates for Ms. St. Benedict had a motorcade.  I went to the covered courts as I was asked to help in the fun games.  Then, I went and did my usual Sunday morning service after the 10 a.m. Charismatic mass.  

I did not feel like the typical barrio lass, until I started preparing for the Coronation Night of Ms. St. Benedict, which I was asked to emcee together with Tito Joe.  I decided that I would do everything by myself, without visiting the parlor.  I watched videos on YouTube on how to achieve the hairstyle I wanted, and then I searched our whole house for bobby pins.  

With my hair in bobby pins and while listening to Mama's Sunday music (sleepy and straight out of a different decade), I pressed the dress I was going to wear.  As I familiarized myself with the flat iron and willed the skirt to smoothen itself, I realized that I was a sight to behold, and I was not my usual self.  For I hated ironing, and my hair was usually left straight.  I felt like a barrio lass preparing for the town fiesta to be held at the basketball court.

But I was going to our fiesta, and it was going to be held at the basketball court.  

I fixed my hair, gave myself a foot spa with pedicure, and then used my special makeup.  The result was not professionally done, but I was happy enough that I did not spend for anything.  I even borrowed the dress from my mom, which was couture, and something she had worn only once.  

The Coronation Night was entertaining, with performances from different sub-parishes ranging from a violin and keyboard number to a Rigodon de Honor.  I wonder what St. Benedict would say to our celebration tonight.  It was simple enough for me,  with a taste of festivities wrapped in community spirit.  The civic and religious organizations in our community worked hand in hand for the fiesta to be a success.  The many hours I spent preparing for my 'look' were nothing compared to the hard work of the organizers of this year's fiesta.

Then I went home to wash away the hair spray and return to my normal self, a city girl with work backlog and an early day tomorrow to avoid rush hour traffic.  I should remember what St. Benedict taught his monks, to balance prayer, rest, and work, as I start yet another grueling week.

Should I be inspired to do so, I might curl my hair again.  But as to ironing clothes?  I would prefer to shop for wrinkle-free outfits, hire someone to do it, or wear my straight-out-of-the-clotheslines attire again.  There's a time for everything, but I am open to changing for the better.

A Night to Remember

Chopin's Etude In E Major Opus 10 No. 3 (basis of "No Other Love")
Hatinggabi by Antonio Molina
Mayon (Fantasia de Concierto) by Francisco Buencamino, Sr.
I Could Have Danced All Night  (from My Fair Lady)
Gaano Ko Ikaw Kamahal by Ernani Cuenco

This list reads like the Top Five Hits From My Childhood, for I grew up in this music, as they are just some of my parents' favorite songs. Imagine the joy my Mama and I felt when all these and more were performed last Saturday during "A Night to Remember", a fundraising concert for the projects of the Parish of Saint Benedict, held at the Don Antonio Heights Homeowners' Association (DAHHA) Clubhouse.

Internationally-acclaimed artists May Gorospe-Favis (soprano), Angelo Favis (guitar), and Charisse Baldoria (pianist) treated the parishioners and friends of St. Benedict to world-class music. Mama and I particularly enjoyed the jaw-dropping set of six out of seven songs composed by Manuel de Falla, where husband-and-wife team May and Angelo displayed their versatility in evoking a myriad of emotions through Siete canciones populares españolas ("Seven Spanish Folksongs").

If I were Mama, I would miss Papa during the concert, as the latter is currently on vacation in the U.S. The celebration of music reminded us that true beauty comes from God and art such as that reminds us of what our soul aches for - heaven. I have seen concerts at the Vatican and in other grand churches - on TV, as I wasn't invited - with the Pope in attendance, and last Saturday, I felt that grand. May also performed Psalm 23 and a song for Saint Clare that gave me goosebumps.

I could not help but admire the artists for their skill and talent. The priests asked me afterwards if I was inspired to practice the piano more and perform for them after watching that concert. I said, "As a matter of fact, No. You know me, I would choose not to do something if I know I cannot do perfectly."

I love music though and I bought Angelo's two CD's where he recorded Philippine music with his guitar. Love was in the air that night and I could not help but catch it with a smile. Love for God. Love for music. Love for friends. Love for community. And Love for my parents, who taught me all that.

My friends Hanzel, Marla, and Tess watched the concert, too, and we enjoyed the cocktails together with Mama, Fr. Steve, and some friends from the Parish Pastoral Council afterwards. We could not help laughing and having a great time, and it was not (just) because of the overflowing wine.

Forgive me for using a cliche, but I must admit it was indeed "a night to remember".

Lovin' Summer

Summer is here again.  For some, it means rest from books.  For others, it signals bathing suit season and beach party time.  But for the youth of the Parish of St Benedict, summer means YASP!

Yes, it's coming back and it's going to be packed.  The Youth Alive Summer Program will start on April 8 and end on May 24.

We're looking for generous snacks sponsors.  If you're ready, willing, and able to sponsor simple snacks for the youth of our parish, kindly send me an email at ella@digitalres.com.

Or comment to this post.  You may search "youth alive" photos, links, and posts from my original blog here.  (For my friends on multiply, FYI, I have 2 blogs, for my two personalities. ;)

P.S.  The title was just there to catch your attention.  But I guess for some people, summer is for lovin' as well.

If You Build It, He Will Come...

What to do when you need to raise millions of pesos for a parish mission center building project? Do it step by step, brick by brick, peso by peso.

As I've written here before, we are a new parish. We're celebrating our first anniversary next week. Our parish priest, Fr. Steve Tynan, launched St. Benedict's Mission Center building project during our fiesta last July, as he said it's necessary for the vision and mission of the parish as well as the apostolate of the Missionaries of God's Love (MGL) in the Philippines.

This tiny building currently serves as the parish office:


This portion at the back serves as the meeting, storage, and practice area:


And this is what our parish church looks like at present:


The mission center, as planned, shall have an adoration chapel, a baptistery, meeting rooms for the different ministries and commissions, living quarters for the priests, as well as proper office space. There are generous individuals who have already given their pledges, but we need more bricks to see this building into completion. Ground-breaking will be on Monday, August 27, 2007.

We would greatly appreciate donations in cash or in kind (cement, paint, chairs, etc.) for this project. Contact me at galadriella2007@yahoo.com if you want to help the mission of our parish.

Thanks and God bless!

Bowling Balls, Anyone?

Anyone out there interested to purchase used but high-quality bowling balls? A generous couple donated their collection of imported bowling balls to the youth of our parish, to add to the World Youth Day Fund that would send young delegates to Sydney, Australia in July 2008.

If you have inquiries, please call St. Benedict's Parish at (632) 932-6521. These are pre-loved bowling balls. Each ball comes with its own bag. They were all purchased from outside the Philippines by this couple who used to have a passion for bowling. They sell for Php500 each, negotiable. Proceeds will go entirely to the said Fund.

Thank you.

Update on the Ukay-Ukay

We'd like to thank the generous parishioners who donated their gym equipment, clothes, shoes, books, bags, etc. to the garage sale a.k.a. "ukay-ukay" organized by Youth Alive at the Parish of St. Benedict, Don Antonio Heights, Q.C.

The sale is ongoing. Remaining dates are May 12, 13, 19, and 20.

The Knights of the Altar, together with the Angelus Choir and the Junior Choir, have been really active in the pricing and selling of goods. We're hoping to send their representatives to the next World Youth Day, in Sydney '08.

If you live near the area, do visit the parish grounds on the above dates, Saturdays 1-6 p.m. and Sundays 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. (except while 10-11 a.m. mass is ongoing).

Thanks and God bless!

Ukay-Ukay for World Youth Day

The next World Youth Day will be held in July 2008 in Sydney, Australia.

The Youth Ministry of the Parish of St. Benedict is planning to send delegates from among the Junior Choir, the Knights of the Altar, and the members of Youth Alive!.

To help raise funds for this, the members of Youth Alive!, Don Antonio Chapter, will be doing a “white elephant” sale or an “ukay-ukay”.

In view of this, we would like to request for donations of just anything you have at home that you want to dispose of. These may be old clothes, shoes, etc., which can still be used.

You may drop them off at the parish office or if you want them picked up, please call 932-6521.

Thank you.